Creatinq Heart break .

Burninq in Existence.
Yearninq for Resistances.
but uu cant , uur addicted.
uur mind is to conflicted - from what uur heart is presentinq.
Tryinq to erase it , tryinq to forqet it .
Yet uu cant uur addicted.
Im talkinq about that feelinq thats burinq into uur soul.
the feelinq that takes control , the feelinq uu cant let qo.
uu say uu dont call it LOVE , but the diagnosis uu dont know.

Burninq in Existence - every time uur around hym
the fire liqhts & burns uur presence, crashes uur state of beinq.
its hurts. uur soul is bleedinq - diminishinq ; who uu once were .
Yet aqain uu say it isn't the effects from LOVE.

Yearninq for resistance.
uu dont know how to resist this.
his eyes are pullinq uu closer.
his lips are lyke sweet kisses.... of vodka- keepinq uur heart un-sober.
his touch is truly meltinq uu into submission
uu wanna walk away.
but thats not the case is it?
tryinq to replenish what he left empty , with the feelinqs of not carinq. thats uur "resistance"
The feelinq from lost LOVE .

uu cant uur addicted
cravinq to see his face
desires to hear his voice
this feelinq uu cant erase
now uu need hym, hes no lonqer a choice.
uur immune system took a dose
and now uur addicted - this isnt love is what uur sayinq.
i think uur jus fakinq , i jus think uur replacinq.
The feelinq everyones Hatinq.
Heart break in the makinq.

Someone tell her ....

Someone needs to tell her the words I'm afraid to say
that this life is killinq me , & it qets worse every day
& at niqhts in the dark i lay , i allow the tears to soak into my face
then i find reason more to believe i need to erase - this lifestyle that i partake in.
this lifestyle is slowly breakinq - down every past emotions I've created .
i stare into the outside & all the joy has faded.
the spotliqht that the sunshine provided for me has turned into the darkness of the moonliqht that hides me. ehh i cant explain it . but she deserves to know. its truly burninq my soul
althouqh i try to let it qo, these feelinqs just takes control . Yet i cant cross a way to let uu know.
my heart is a sealed book, written in invisible ink
i cant read it myself
my mind is much lyke a pool- no understandinq- i sink.
i drown . in my my own mind i cant swim. but aqain i cant explain it
im not sure if im makinq sense, but please, she needs to know
at times i qet to dramatic , at times im just to weak
i use to be able to hide it , but now thru the cracks i leak.
to her i cant not speak .. tell her i dont mean to make her believe i dont wanna speak
i swear that its just me, mommy please dont feel quilty. mommy u need to kno

Possibiltes of chanqinq the locks

Is it a possibility to love beyond imperfection ?- let our difference be neglected - therefore our love will be protected -i use to say opposites never attract but now I stand corrected -dont let those haters defect this -my smile is like your poison - your will to keep on going -the beautiful sun that only shines in heaven - is it a possibility to let your words illuminate my soul - the Sparkle to my gold -letting our future unfold. - But is it a possibility to hate - after the love was so great - breaking down what was fate - so much that you don't wanna hear my name - the name that took away your pain - now nothing but sorrows it brings- willing to give me everything -but now you want it all back -i messed up big time - & I understand that -but explain to me what happened to the love - the wall of china wasn't stronger -no longer can you love me -because of the person I've became - me & that are the same - I don't think I've ever changed - but who is there to blame !-for putting out the flame- I'm sorry but I blame your fragile heart - the beautiful beat has seems to stop - well I still own the key to that heart- but its useless now that you've changed the locks

How's perfect? ; I should be worth it
My Heart is un spoken ; so my mind as been chosen ; to take control of all emotions
I never feared love but I was so afraid of showing; Because them girls are my obsession & I was always afraid of knowing ; so I never told the truth to any body who was listening ; - there puissant force of hatred made it unattainable just to fit in . So I had no choice but to give in; I embraced their ethos & tried so hard to soak it in . So now I'm an image of everyones reflection ; but everyones neglecting -who I was meant to be ; if they just paid attention- to what I could never see
I could of been my perfect imperfection- the reflection of me

death of ...

i can see my self
Standing there
Knife in my hand
Blood leaking all over
Tears run from my eyes
Reach my cheeks
Shivers run thru my thighs
My sane i seek
Then i speak to god
But he doesn't here me
So i look to lusifer
For what he left empty
Devil blood in my vains
Forsake my actions
What buried underneath
The grown he's asking
But i don't speak, shocked
For what just happened
R.I.p Death is my caption

The book

I've seemed to have lost my book. My book that holds my life. My book that stored memories. My book that reflected truth & denied the lies . This book can explain everything that I've hidden . In this lifestyle its forbidden . That's why I believe this lifestyle I cannot live in . If someone gets their hand on this book my future can un fold , into a agony more finer then gold .Your mind would never want to remember me again & you'll understand why my heart has yet to mend . The book holds reasons I pretend .people like me are put to death but I guess god made an exception. If you come across this book please never open it . I want to be remembered as the girl everyone loved , who I was ,well, not for who I am but who I tried so hard to be

sickness of the drug

Never thought this feeling was gonna occur . This feeling of death in my happiness & every time i think about i get sick . Its like a sickness to my joy . A disease of my smile . A defection of my dreams .but I'm not sure if I want it to go . It feels so right but ends so wrong. The thought of it ending is the thing that effects me but the power it has is the reason I come back for more